My Journey with MST
MST became a part of my life in the early 1980s, soon after I turned 18 and joined the military. Upon graduating from boot camp, the very next day, I took a bus to tech school. Only a few hours after arriving, I was hungry and ventured out to find food. There was a snack bar nearby, and after having a bite to eat, a fellow student who was about my age, offered to walk me back to the barracks. To my 18-year-old self, he seemed decent, but he took us the wrong way and then raped me. At that time, there was little awareness or support for sexual assault. Terms like “MST” didn’t exist then. There was no Sexual Assault Prevention and Response Office (SAPR), no posters with phone numbers to call, and help was not evident in any way. As is true for many rape victims, I was assaulted again a year later by NCO coworkers. Reporting what happened and even the daily harassments seemed impossible to me at the time. I felt overwhelmed and beaten down. This was not the start in life that any 18 or 19-year-old should have to endure.
Suffering in Silence
Like so many others, I suffered alone in silence and shame for decades. I kept my trauma hidden even from loved ones. In recent years, many MST survivors began sharing their stories, and I’ve learned so much. My gratitude and admiration for those who share their MST experiences are beyond measure.
Finding a Voice Through the MSTmap
For me, after so many years of silence, the idea of openly discussing my MST causes way too much anxiety. For this reason, it is my hope that the MSTmap will allow myself and a multitude of others like me the opportunity to contribute to the MST narrative anonymously. Our truth, even if anonymous, deserves acknowledgment.
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